lessons learned: 5 years of no booze.
July 2026 marked 5 years of not drinking (!!)
My decision to stop drinking wasn’t premeditated. In 2021 I was returning from a month long vacation in Portland, Oregon feeling frustrated, like shit and with far less money in my bank account. A trip I had been so excited for to reconnect with my hometown friends after an isolating year of the pandemic - yet every time I got together with someone it was centered around alcohol. I realized that in the entire month I didn’t create any new memories but instead traveled across the country to “drink and catch up”.
I decided to take a 2-week break from booze to reset.
During that reset I read Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol. It affirmed my curiosity around the role alcohol was playing in my own life, understand the chokehold it has over us as a society and reinforced my decision to remove it completely. This one big decision eliminated so many smaller choices in my day-to-day life and provided many existential and incredibly practical lessons along the way…
5 practical lessons from 5 years alcohol free.
1. Most people do not consider non-drinkers when hosting.
BYOB - show up to events with a fun NA drink for yourself (and for others) just like you’d to bring a bottle of wine to a dinner party.
Ginger-ale in a champagne flute is a perfect swap for a celebratory toast!
2. You shouldn’t (evenly) split the bill.
It can be wildly frustrating when the check comes and someone who has downed 4 martinis says “y’all good if we just split it?” abso-fucking-lutely not Janet. One huge benefit of not drinking is that going out to eat becomes far more affordable. Establish that you’re not drinking (and not paying the alcohol bill) from the very beginning - especially on group trips.
3. Prepare for relationships (and dating) to shift.
Be prepared - you might stop getting the invite. When you’re the one not drinking you can easily become a mirror to those around you. While this can be challenging in the beginning, it becomes obvious who you have a true connection with. Quality > quantity matters.
Dating becomes far more intentional and will save you from your next situationship.
Update your dating apps to “no drinking“ asap. Not everyone you match with will catch this detail, but many will and they’ll either be completely turned off or come up with a great first date not centered around alcohol.
4. Come with ideas for hanging out.
So many of us have grown accustomed to catching up over drinks that we’ve lost our ability to plan anything else. Be ready to make recommendations. Some of my favorites that cost the equivalent to >3 drinks :
comedy show
cooking / baking class
coffee shop in a new part of town and walk around
salsa dance lesson
blue bikes along the river
mocktail mixology class
5. You’ll have a lot more time feeling a lot better. You’ll also have more money.
I recognized quickly the impact just one glass of wine had on my sleep and recovery. Not losing a single day to a hangover in 5-years has left me with more times for hobbies, friendships and adventures.
Meditations are about to become much, much deeper - get a journal :)
That $$$ you saved from not going out? Invest it.
Prioritize your nutrition, sleep and movement.
Whether you’re removing alcohol from your life completely, or just taking a break for this season of life - I hope these lessons can remove some bumps along the way and offer you a smoother road on your journey!